everything changes

Fandom: Hawkeye Comics
Characters/Pairings: Clint Barton/Kate Bishop, Lucky
Rating: Mature
Length: 2,149 words
Written for: fan_flashworks challenge #376 “Blue” and 100ships #13 “Blue”
Summary: Clint's feeling depressed and hopeless. Kate does her best to help him feel better.
Originally Posted: July 11, 2022

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Clint's phone vibrated from somewhere under his pillow. He ignored it and pulled the covers over his head. It would stop eventually. Except that it didn't. He really needed to turn off vibrate for his text messages. People just wouldn't leave him alone. He knew he should feel grateful that he was fortunate enough to have people in his life that cared about him, even when it annoyed the crap out of him, but right now he was having trouble feeling that gratitude.

He just wanted everyone to leave him alone. He'd volunteered to help Kate with a missing person's case and it had all been for nothing. The kid had been dead before Kate had even taken the case. To make things even worse, Clint had taken a bad fall, and while nothing was broken (this time) he did end up with some pretty spectacular bruises. He was feeling old, cranky, in pain, and utterly useless. Did anything he do really even matter in the grand scheme of things? The bad guys just kept coming and lately, they seemed to be winning more often than not. Why did he keep doing this? What was the point?

Finally, the messages stopped and his phone was still. Thinking he was finally safe from his well-meaning but meddlesome friends, he rolled over, and pulled the blankets tight around himself. That was when he realized that someone was in his apartment. He could feel them moving around in the other room, they didn't seem to be trying to be sneaky, at all. Clint opened his eyes and came face to face with Kate. Shit. He closed his eyes. His bed shook. He was pretty sure she'd just kicked his mattress. Gently, but still. Reluctantly he opened his eyes.

"Everyone's worried about you," Kate both signed and spoke. Clint didn't have his hearing aids but he could see her lips moving. Kate tended to use both when communicating with him, even if he had his hearing aids in. She said she didn't want her ASL to get rusty.

Clint shook his head. "I'm fine," he signed.

"You've been in bed for a week."

"More like six days," Clint corrected.

"You're not helping your argument any."

"What was my argument, again?" Why were they even having this conversation? Kate, of all people, should understand why he was in such a funk.

"That you're perfectly fine and not in a depressive spiral at all." Kate scrunched up her nose and made a face. "When was the last time you showered?"

Clint thought back, he honestly wasn't sure. "Before the case?"

Kate shook her head and pointed toward the bathroom. "Go take a shower now. I'll change your sheets while you're busy with that and then we can talk food when you're out."

As much as he loved the idea of staying in bed and pulling the covers back over his head despite (in spite of?) Kate's orders, he had to take a leak, so he was going to have to get up soon either way. Might as well get it over with now.

He had to admit the hot water did feel nice. His head was throbbing, though. Too much time in bed and not enough caffeine, apparently. He found a bottle of over-the-counter pain meds in his medicine cabinet, downed a couple with a mouthful of water, dried off, and headed back into the bedroom with a towel wrapped around his waist.

His sheets were clean, his bed made. He headed to the kitchen and spotted Kate washing dishes. She'd cleaned everything and fed the dog. He kinda felt bad. Maybe he should help her or something? He headed back to the bedroom so he could get dressed. He glanced at his bed and was tempted. He just wanted to get back into bed, especially now that the sheets were clean. The room smelled so much better now.

He could go back to bed. Kate would be fine. She'd gotten him in the shower, she could go home knowing she'd done her best. Clint pulled back the blankets, let his towel drop, and crawled back into bed. He let out a relaxed sigh.

He could feel her staring down at him. He just bet she had her hands on her hips and a judgy look on her face. He opened one eye and squinted at her. She looked disappointed in him. He sighed. Yeah, me too Kate, me too. "What?" he asked.

Kate shook her head and then, shrugged like she didn't know what to do with him. Clint assumed this was the point in the conversation that she'd give up and go home. He was so wrong.

He watched Kate as she pulled off her sweatshirt, slipped out of her shoes, and shimmied out of her jeans. She shooed him over and got into his bed wearing only a sports bra and her underwear. What was going on?

"I don't need cheering up," Clint grumbled.

"Okay, then let's just talk."

Crap. He didn't want to talk, he wanted to go back to sleep so the world would go away. Kate lay on her side, waiting. Fuck it. He reached out, cupped her cheek in his hand, leaned in, and kissed her. It seemed like a good idea at the time. He'd wanted to kiss her for so long, but until now he'd never let himself cross that line. And he wouldn't have now, except that he was feeling like nothing he did mattered. And she was in his bed. And he was already naked. He knew it was a bad idea, but it was his bad idea and he'd deal with any repercussions later.

Clint figured she'd pull away, maybe slap him, storm out, and then he'd be able to go back to sleep. Except that she wasn't pulling away. She was kissing him back.

He lost himself in her. Her lips, her touch, her scent. All the while in the back of his head a little voice was telling him that he really shouldn't be doing what he was doing. It was going to mess things up. He was going to mess things up. He pushed the voice of reason away and continued exploring Kate's body in all the ways he'd ever dreamed.

Kate made the sign for "condom" and it took Clint several seconds to realize what she was asking because the sign itself was more suggestive than he could really handle at the moment. He motioned to the drawer on her side of the bed, she reached in and pulled one out. She nudged him onto his back, climbed on top of him, and rolled the condom over his cock. His fingers tightened on her hips. Oh yeah, this was a brilliant idea. He was such an idiot.

When Clint woke up it was dark. This wasn't exactly saying much since he couldn't remember if the sun had been up or not when he'd fallen asleep. He barely remembered what day it was.

He quietly got out of bed, grabbed a pair of boxer shorts, and headed to the bathroom. His hair was sticking up in all directions. Nice. He ran some water and got it back under control. He slipped his shorts on and headed to the kitchen, grabbing the box he kept his hearing aids in on the way. He was going to have to put them in sooner or later. He and Kate needed to have a talk.

Clint was getting the bag of coffee beans out of the cabinet when Kate walked into the kitchen, stretching her arms over her head, and wearing one of his t-shirts. She smiled at him before walking over and kissing him on the lips like it was a perfectly normal thing for them to do. The next thing he knew he was lifting her onto the counter, and she was wrapping her legs around his waist. Kate hadn't been wearing any underwear, just his shirt. She had brought a condom out to the kitchen with her, so, there was that. At least one of them was thinking.

Clint ran his fingers through his hair, making it stick up again, probably. "What just happened?"

Huffing a laugh, Kate jumped off the counter, grabbed the t-shirt off the floor, and smiled at him. "That was so you couldn't say it was just a one-time thing. You know, never to happen again, blah, blah, and more blah."

Clint opened his mouth and then closed it. That was pretty much exactly what he had been planning to say.

"I'm gonna get dressed, why don't you start the coffee and we can take Lucky out for a walk when it's ready," Kate said.

Lucky perked up on hearing his name and the word "walk". Clint shrugged at his dog and got the coffee started.

Kate came out of the bedroom dressed in jeans and a flowy purple blouse. These were not the clothes she was wearing before she got into his bed. Did she already have some stashed here, or had she brought a change of clothes with her?

Kate was pouring the coffee into a couple of travel mugs when he returned from getting dressed. They still hadn't talked. They really should talk, right? Thing was, he wasn't sure what he actually wanted to say. Not that he ever let that stop him or anything, but this was important. He needed to be careful with his words.

"Here." Kate handed him one of the mugs, hooked a leash to Lucky's collar, pocketed her keys, and grabbed her coffee. Clint followed her out the door. What else could he do?

They walked for maybe twenty minutes, Lucky did his business, and Clint still didn't know what he wanted to say.

"We don't need to talk about it," Kate said.

It was like she was reading his mind. He really hoped she wasn't reading his mind. He didn't need her to know how hopelessly in love with her he was. Had been for years. He'd resolved to never to do anything about it, to never cross that line, and yet here they were, so over the line he was pretty sure there was no going back. "Okay, but maybe we should. Talk about it, I mean."

"Did you want to talk about it?" Kate asked after no one said anything for far too long.

"Yeah." Clint rubbed the back of his neck. "I do."

Kate sat on a bench, Lucky sat down on the grass, and Clint found a tree to lean against. Still, no one said anything. Clint sighed. "I'm a mess, Kate."

"Today, or in general?"

"Yes?"

"Okay, not actually going to argue with you on that one," Kate said.

Clint laughed. "That's fair." He ran his hand through his hair. Kate knew him too well. "I have no idea how to put this but I like kissing you. I like touching you. I don't want to give up those privileges."

"I'm sensing a but."

"Yeah, well. I don't want to lose the other stuff either. The friendship, the partnership. Everything." Clint took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I'm in love with you, Kate. Have been for a long time."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because you were like twelve."

I was never twelve around you. I was already an adult by the time we partnered up."

"Barely."

"I'm twenty-seven now, Clint."

"Seriously?" How the hell had that happened?

"Yes, seriously. It's that whole passage of time thing. Kinda hits us all." Kate paused a moment. "Well, until it doesn't."

"So, what are you saying?"

"I'm in love with you too, doofus."

Clint smiled. "Okay then. Good. I guess we're doing this thing then, right? We're together?" It sounded weird to say it out loud.

Kate got up from the bench and crossed the space between them. "Yes, we're together." She kissed him.

Lucky barked. Kate pulled away, patted the dog, and said, "But right now we have a very important decision ahead of us."

"We do?" Now he was confused. "What decision?"

"What to get for Lunch. I'm starving."

Relief flowed through him. "Oh God, yes. I can't even remember the last time I ate."

There's a new Greek food truck parked near here. They have amazing Gyros. Their house special has all the meats."

"All the meats?" Clint was intrigued.

"Pork, beef, and chicken - along with the usual accompaniments. Or we could do pizza."

Clint raised his hand. "I vote food truck."

"Oh, and they have the best fresh-cut fries."

"You had me at all the meats, Hawkeye."

Kate smiled, kissed him again, and took his hand in hers. Clint grabbed Lucky's leash, and they all headed to the infamous food truck together. It was in that moment that Clint realized that he'd happily follow Kate Bishop anywhere.


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