Title: home to you
Fandom: Hawkeye Comics
Characters/Ships: Clint Barton/Kate Bishop
Rating: Teen
Length: 1,278 words
Written For: poetry_fiction 2018
Summary: Kate and Clint are reunited after some time apart.
Originally Posted: February 01, 2018
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Kate wiggles her feet in the sand as the waves wash over her toes. She’s early. She’s not even sure he’s coming, today or ever. She called him a week ago, asking him to meet her here -- the same place where they said good-bye almost a year ago. Where she had said good-bye. Kate told him she needed space. She had the stupid idea of giving up the superhero gig and going full-on civilian. It had sucked, big time. She had no skills she could put on on a job application and wound up waiting tables part-time, something it turned out, she was very bad at. Kate had toyed with the idea of going back to college, but there wasn’t anything she wanted to study bad enough to go into debt for. College was expensive. She misses having money.
She stands on the same beach she had told Clint that she needed to get away from the Hawkeye moniker, that she needed to find her own path -- away from him. It turned out to be a crock of shit and she still feels guilty for having said it. She misses him.
Kate returned to the superhero thing after a few months, but it doesn’t feel the same without him.
She turned her back on him because of feelings. The kind of feelings that went beyond the usual partner type of feelings. The same kind that she always used to make faces about when it came to Clint, she really had protested too much. Instead of exploring those feelings she ran away. She never told Clint the real reason, she had been afraid to. She still is.
***
Clint isn’t sure what to think when Kate calls him. What’s it been, a year? More? A whole year since she’d left, telling him that she didn’t want to be Hawkeye anymore. He doesn’t blame her. Never did. Who wanted that kind of crap baggage? She’s better than that, better than him.
He doesn’t know what he did to drive her away. He was too afraid to ask.
He’d be lying if he said it hadn’t hurt. He misses her, still. It’s why he jumps into his car, Lucky riding shotgun, and heads to the same place they’d parted ways. He has no idea why she wants to see him after all this time, but he knows he needs to see her too.
He’s there early, which is so unlike him, but the thought of seeing Kate again sparks something in him. He doesn’t want to chance showing up late and missing her. He stays in the car with Lucky until he catches sight of her heading down the beach. Seeing her fills him with longing and need.
He waits until she’s almost at the water, then he gets out of the car. “You need to stay,” he tells Lucky. The dog whines and Clint feels bad. “Okay, fine, but let me talk to her before you jump all over her.” He says even though he knows it’s pointless. Lucky races down the beach ahead of him. Clint doesn’t hurry, he needs to shake his nervousness before he reaches her.
Kate is standing with her feet in the water, black hair flowing like a cape. Clint’s chest feels heavy with grief. He hadn’t realized just how much he missed her until that moment.
***
Kate hears Lucky’s happy barking moments before he almost knocks her down. Laughing she kneels down in the sand, allowing the dog to lavish her with affection. She’s missed this. Kate looks up and sees Clint staring down at her. There’s an odd look on his face, one she can’t quite decipher. She stands. “I wasn’t sure you’d come.”
“Why wouldn’t I?” Clint asks.
Kate shrugs. “I don’t know, you could have been busy.” Haunted by guilt, she worries that he doesn’t want to see her, that maybe he’s still mad at her for leaving or worse. That he doesn’t care at all.
“I’m glad you called.” Clint runs his hand through his already messy hair. “You okay? If you’re not okay -- if you need my help -- you know you can just ask -- right?” Concern furrows his brow.
Kate wants to hug him, but she feels like she doesn’t have the right to that sort of familiarity anymore. She shakes her head. She doesn’t know how to say what she’s dragged him all this way to say. She feels foolish and unsure and hates herself for it.
***
Clint isn’t sure what he’s supposed to do. Kate’s looking like she’s about to take off again. He thinks maybe he should have left Lucky in the car. Did Kate think he brought the dog as some kind of buffer? Maybe he was overthinking it. Maybe what he needs is less thinking. He reaches out and pulls her into his arms. “I’ve missed you,” he says softly.
Kate is quiet but she’s hugging him back and not pushing him away, so maybe he hasn’t fucked up too badly. Yet. But then she’s crying and Clint’s no longer sure of anything. He pulls away slightly so he can see her face. Tears are rolling down her face, and it hurts to think maybe they’re for him. He knows he’s a fuck up, but the last thing in the world he wants is to hurt her. He brushes the tears from her cheek. “It’s okay, I don’t know what I did but I’ll fix it -- promise.”
She sniffles. “You didn’t do anything dummy, I did.”
Clint has no idea what she’s talking about. “What? What did you do?”
“I left you.”
“It’s okay Kate, I understood.”
“But you didn't, not really. I didn’t even really understand why I ran until it was too late. Until you weren’t there anymore. I shouldn’t have...”
“Come on Kate, you needed a break from me, I get it. I don’t blame you.” He brushed the tears from the other side of her face. He wants to kiss her but knows that he shouldn’t. He shouldn’t even want to, he didn’t have the right.
“I didn’t -- that’s not the reason.” Kate rubs her eyes. “I love you.” Her eyes go wide and she takes a step back. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have...I’ve gotta go.” Kate starts walking back up the beach.
Clint stands there feeling like an idiot, watching her leave. Did she really just say that she loved him? Lucky barks and Clint comes to his senses and runs after her. “Kate, where are you going?”
Kate turns around and shakes her head. Clint realizes he still has no idea what to say to her, so he kisses her. She doesn’t run or hit him or scream, all of which he takes as a good sign. After a moment or two, he pulls away from the kiss and brushes her bottom lip with his thumb. “No more running, okay?”
Kate nods. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to blurt that out.” Her voice was quiet and shaky.
“Did you mean it?” He’s afraid of the answer, but asks anyway.
“Yes.”
“Then don’t be sorry.” Clint looks into Kate’s eyes and likes what he sees there. She really loves him. “I love you too,” he says and kisses her again.
“I want to come home,” Kate says.
This was what he’s been afraid to hope for. He smiles. “I think Lucky will be very happy about that.”
Kate laughs. “Really, is that all?”
Clint puts his arm around her shoulder. “I’ll probably come around to the idea.” Kate punches him playfully on the shoulder and he laughs. “I really missed you Hawkeye.”
“Missed you too Hawkeye, let’s go home.”
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