Title: wish you were here
Fandom: Marvel 616
Characters: Clint Barton, Tony Stark, Wade Wilson, Jeff the Land Shark
Rating: Teen
Length: 1,814 words
Written For: @genprompt_bingo round 21 Prompt: tea/coffee
Summary: Friends don’t let friends celebrate Christmas Eve alone.
CW: mild blood, mild gore
Originally Posted: December 07, 2021
Part 1 (of 2) of It's a Hawkeye kind of Christmas! - Part Two is HERE.
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Clint threw an arm over his face and tried to muster up the energy to get out of bed. He really should’ve closed the curtain before going to bed. The urge to roll over and let sleep claim him for just a little while longer was strong.
Finally, he hauled himself out of bed, groaning all the way. He really didn’t want to do this day. It was Christmas Eve and he missed his dog and he missed his Kate. He even missed having to get up in the middle of the night to walk Lucky. Possibly he was also feeling a little jealous that Lucky got to spend Christmas back in California with Kate.
One hot shower and a set of clean clothes later he was still feeling grumpy and alone.
Clint had tried hinting to Kate that she should come to New York for Christmas, but either she didn’t want to spend Christmas with him or he’d been too subtle. He needed to get out of this mood. It was Christmas Eve. He thought about calling her but he didn’t want to chance waking her up - time zones and all that.
Clint looked out the window. It was way too bright and sunny. He frowned. He’d text Kate later, she was probably busy with holiday stuff anyway.
Coffee. Coffee would make everything better. He turned away from the window and noticed how drab his place looked. He hadn’t put up any decorations. He kept putting it off and putting it off, and now it was Christmas Eve and too late to bother.
He’d just gotten the coffee started when someone knocked on his door. Clint sighed. He cracked the door open a couple of inches. “Tony?”
“Hey Barton, finally out of bed?”
Clint scratched his head. “Maybe, why?”
“Let me in, I come bearing gifts,” Stark said.
Clint opened the door the rest of the way.
“Step aside Barton, it’s time to deck the halls or whatever it is the cool kids are saying these days.” Clint moved away from the door and Tony strode past him, his arms laden with a multitude of festive-looking shopping bags.
“Pretty sure it’s not that,” Clint said.
“As if you would know.” Tony set the bags down, rubbed his hands together, and took a look around. “Okay, where’s your tree?”
Clint shuffled his feet. “Tony, why are you here?”
Tony ignored his question. “Don’t tell me you haven’t even gotten a tree yet. It’s Christmas Eve.” He pulled out his phone and Clint turned towards the kitchen.
The coffee maker sounded the gurgle of completion. Clint held up a finger. “Hold that thought.” He needed coffee for this conversation, or really any conversation with Tony.
Clint had thought about picking up a tree or maybe even just a festive wreath to hang on his door but he never managed to make that happen. He’d been busy and he’d gotten distracted taking down a small HYDRA lab that’d been doing some pretty shady and despicable experiments. Then all of a sudden it was Christmas Eve and way too late to get into the Christmas spirit - or whatever.
Clint got two mugs down from the cabinet, filled both with coffee, and handed one to Tony. He blew on his own in hopes of cooling it down and getting it into his system more quickly. He was in desperate need of caffeination if he had any hope of getting anything done.
Tony sniffed at the hot dark liquid and grimaced. He put the mug down on the counter by the sink. “Come on, grab your coat. We’re going out and getting you a tree. My treat.”
Clint tried not to be offended by Tony’s coffee rejection. He raised his mug in the air. “I’m kinda busy with my coffee here.”
Tony rolled his eyes. “You can bring your dreadful coffee with you.” He put his phone away. “We can get some actual coffee on the way. Get your coat, it’s cold outside.”
Clint didn’t bother protesting. It would all be over more quickly if he just went along with whatever Tony had planned. “Fine, a tree might be nice.”
There was already a car waiting for them by the time they made it down the stairs and outside his building. After riding around to five different tree lots they returned to the first place they visited where Tony finally declared a tree “good enough”. Clint would’ve been fine with any of the trees they’d seen but apparently Tony was a tree snob. Not exactly surprising.
Instead of tying the tree to the car’s roof like a normal person, Tony had one of his suits fly the tree back to Clint’s apartment.
“Don’t you think that’s a bit much?” Clint asked.
Tony flashed him a very judgmental look over his sunglasses and proceeded to ignore him.
When they got back to his place the tree was leaning against the wall by his door. His partially open door.
“Did your suit open my door?” Clint asked.
“No, did you forget to lock your door?” Tony said.
“Of course not.” Clint was pretty sure he’d locked the door. He’d defiantly closed it. He for sure didn’t leave it three inches open. He carefully pushed the door the rest of the way open and instantly regretted it.
“Merry Christmas!”
No. Clint shut the door and turned to Tony. “Did you invite Deadpool? You can tell me. I promise not to stick an arrow into you.”
Tony put his hand to his chest. “Do you really think that I’d invite someone into your home without telling you?”
“Yes?” Clint said.
“Well, I didn’t. It hadn’t even occurred to me.” Tony opened the door, smiled, and walked in laughing.
Clint sighed as he stepped into his apartment. He looked around. It was very sparkly, very festive, and very not him.
“Wade, what are you doing here?” Clint asked.
“You had all these decorations sitting around in bags.” Wade threw some tinsel on the coffee maker. “It’s Christmas Eve, someone had to decorate.” As if that explained anything.
“But what are you doing inside my apartment in the first place?”
“Decorating…”
“That doesn’t explain —.” Clint shook his head. He had no idea why he was trying to get a straight answer out of Wade Wilson.
“I brought food. You know, for the party,” Wade said.
Clint clenched his fists. “What party?”
“Your Christmas Eve party, of course.” Wade shook his head.
“What the — my what?” Clint rubbed the back of his neck and turned to Tony.
“Don’t look at me, I just brought the decorations.” Tony looked around and shrugged. “And bought you a tree, which you still haven’t thanked me for or even brought into the apartment yet, by the way.”
Clint stomped over to the door, dragged the tree inside, and slammed the door shut. “Thank you, Tony.” He ran his fingers through his hair and took a closer look at the decorations. They seemed really fancy, bright, and just thrown around his apartment. It was like a high-end Christmas shop had thrown up all over his apartment. He also finally noticed that there were various food platters scattered around as well. A meat and cheese platter, a fruit plate, a giant bowl of cheese puffs, chips, and a multitude of dips. He was a little afraid to take a closer look to see what else he’d been supplied with. He wandered around and took a closer look anyways.
“Are those pigs and blankets?” Clint pointed to a tray over by the kitchen sink as he moved in for a closer look.
Wade grinned. Clint carefully picked one up and took a sniff. It smelled normal, good even. It was still warm and there was a little bowl filled with what looked like mustard on the tray, presumably for dipping. Clint took a chance, dipped the appetizer in the mustard, and popped it in his mouth. Oh damn, he’d forgotten how good these things were. He turned toward Deadpool. “Fine, you can stay.”
Clint heard the television playing in the background, turned toward the living room area and saw an adorably familiar face peeing up at him over the back of the sofa. “Jeff?” The small land shark jumped up and leaped into his arms. “Oh wow, it’s so good to see you again.” Clint glanced around to see if there was anyone else unaccounted for. Seeing no one unexpected he asked, “How’d you get here?”
“Jeffery’s with me,” Wade said. His mask was rolled up just below his nose, and he was currently shoveling cheese doodles into his orange powder-covered mouth.
Jeff squirmed in Clint’s arms. He let go and the land shark launched himself at Wade, landing with his mouth wrapped around Deadpool’s hand and the cheese puff he’d been holding onto.
Wade shook his arm, but Jeff didn’t budge. “He’s been staying with me for a while now. We’ve been through a lot together.” He shook his arm again.
“Is that Jeff the famous land shark gnawing on your arm?” Tony joined the conversation.
Clint shook his head. How did Tony even know about Jeff? He was so confused.
“Jeffery’s an influencer now, he has millions of followers on social media. He’s even thinking about starting his own merchandise line,” Wade said. Yeah, like that explained anything.
Jeff finally let go of Wade’s arm, leaving behind a bloody stump that looked like it was already healing. Must be nice to have a healing factor.
Clint shook his head. “I — you know what, never mind. I don’t really need to know.”
“So, hey - can I get a picture with Jeff?” Tony asked.
“Why not, it’s almost Christmas I’ll even give you the friends and family discount,” Wade said.
Clint wandered around tasting various food offerings. At least he didn’t have to worry about ordering take-out on Christmas Eve. Or being alone. He glanced over at the living room area. Tony and Wade were on the couch together, Jeff between them.
“Come on, get in the picture,” Tony called out.
“You can send it to your girlfriend,” Wade added.
“Kate’s not my —“ Clint protested.
“Who said anything about Kate?” Tony flashed him a knowing smile and Clint decided to keep his mouth shut for a change. 'Tis the season to cut your friends some slack, or something.
He wedged himself next to Tony on the already crowded sofa. There was some snowman come to life cartoon playing on the television, an abundance of food, and he had friends who cared about him currently invading his living space. All in all, not a bad way to spend the holiday.
Later when they were decorating the tree, Jeff got tangled up in the lights. Clint snapped a photo and sent it to Kate along with a short message. Merry Christmas, wish you were here.
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